Last Friday I had a conversation with my old friend that triggered me to write these paragraphs. I hesitated a lot whether I should press publish on this self-pity piece and that people reading it might not find it appealing. Not only that but they would also see me as of lower value in their eyes. But I decided to roll with it anyway for two reasons.

I believe it’s important to share that life isn’t always this beautiful simple place where whatever we wants finds its way to us — it’s important to share that sometimes we feel down and it’s completely normal because we all were in this place. Secondly, this blog isn’t going to make me famous or anything. I write it to save some of my thoughts, feelings, and progress in life. So I am hoping that a couple of years later I will be able to re-read this article and laugh at this as I will either understand that there are bigger problems in life and/or be in a different, better spot.

Back to the conversation with this old friend. He talked to me about how he got this new job opportunity and how almost stupidly easy it is to be successful in this role. This was not the first time he would share one of the many positive things that happened to him in his life without much of his effort.

// TODO: Mention Peter’s story.

First and foremost, I am certainly very happy for him. Though, it kind of gave me the taste of how other people might have been looking at my life so far. Sure for certain things I had to work hard, but I was passionate about work and in many ways lucky so I get how many people on the outside without a passion and without luck must have look at my life.

But now the table has turned and I feel like everything I want now I have to work my ass off for. I put in 10 times the effort that other people in my situation put in, yet I keep banging the wall that it seems close to impossible to get through.

I am trying to be faithful to the process, remain diligent and patient, but trust me when I say that it’s mentally challenging to keep you mind straight when things don’t go your way.

If you were in a same or similar period in your life, I would love to hear more about it. Please, do drop me a line. I can only wish to my future self that one day I will re-read these paragraphs and my view on life will be much better.